Initiation

Image description: Marquise (he/him) is a young Black man with long shoulder length locs tied back. He is wearing glasses, a black shirt with an owl print and tan sweatpants. He is smiling at the camera.

Marquise is a doctoral student in the Joint English and Education program. He wears hearing aids as a result of severe hearing loss. Being a Deaf Black man informs his research into how intersectional trauma and healing happens both within the body and community.

I.

I remember the squishiness

the mold gun injected

into my ears. Just 3 years old, not knowing

what was happening. Only the cold

bubblegum pink resin filling

my ear canal. I felt like

I was being buried alive.

III.

I’m in Headstart. Waiting

in the line at a drinking fountain.

The other kids gawk

at my aids. I’m unsettled.

But I was wearing a hoodie

so I pulled it over my ears.

“I’m a lion!” And I roar

V.

Batman, Spider-Man,

The Power Rangers:

they all wear

masks to protect

themselves. Even

Samson had long hair

that covered his ears.

VII.

Now a grown man,

my respectable

hair reaches

past my shoulders.

Sometimes the tips

of my aids are caught

in my dreads.

II.

Some weeks or months later

I was sitting in a plastic chair

and told to be still while

the specialist inserted my first

pair of hearing aids. I wanted

them out but was told I needed

to wear them. I had to let it happen.

IV.

like Simba

to the hyenas at

the Elephant Graveyard

I distract them.

But I know I stand

out. I imagine

my superhero and what could be

VI.

Mom said respectable Black

boys and men keep

their shoes clean,

their clothes ironed,

say, “ma’am” and “sir”

and, most importantly,

keep their hair short.